I'm So Alone

Rescue

Thu, 03 Apr 2003 18:43:53 GMT

Lying in the grass by the side of the road, wounds on my arms. She appeared like an angel. "Are you okay?" she said. My mind cried NO! but my lips stayed silent. She crouched down and took my hand. "Let me help you" she said. And she took me to her home, and bathed my tattered wrists. She helped me stumble into bed. She leaned over, and said "Everything's going to be okay from now on". Then she kissed me on the forehead and I drifted from consciousness. I awoke the next morning,..

,.. and she was still there.

I'm no longer alone.

The End.

My wrist

Tue, 01 Apr 2003 13:30:05 GMT

I stare at the sharpened knife in my hands. By the candle light it seems to be the only thing with any life. It glistens like it's wet and I listen to it's silent song to me. If I had some one to stop me from doing what I want, ... No! need to do,..
But I don't. I don't have anyone,..

,.. And now no-one can stop me.

Oh God! I'm so alone.

Losing my hairdresser

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 18:28:39 GMT

"It's our last week open" she said. I blinked in astonishment. The last time I'd gaze at her compelling mid-riff. That last time she'd massage my scalp with her slender yet firm digits. I went cold. I could barely concentrate as she tried to make small talk. She finished and I went to pay at the counter. I wanted to say 'You've meant so much to me', but I didn't know how to say goodbye. She moved towards me and extended her arms. All I wanted and more. A hug goodbye? Surely this was more than just a convenor/customer relationship. My hands jerked with indecision, then she moved past me and opened the door. I turned and left,..

,.. with my hands still longing to hold her.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The war on Iraq

Fri, 21 Mar 2003 06:26:51 GMT

The war on Iraq has begun. Somewhere, there is a couple who cling to each other in fear of their lives. They lie, hidden and scared in a shelter somewhere, with no-one else to rely on but each other. Here I sit, on the other side of the world, safe,..

,.. and jealous.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Beach

Wed, 19 Mar 2003 14:41:04 GMT

I went to the beach today. I had an intensely strong longing to stare at the beach as rain poured over it. I felt myself on a big comfy couch, legs and arms entwined with the woman of my dreams as we sheltered behind a big bay window. I tried to stay happy in my head but the world leaked in,..

,.. and the sun shone on my own private darkness.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Nowhere to stay

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 10:33:16 GMT

'I don't have anyway of getting home' she said. She couldn't afford Cab fare. I think she wanted to stay at my place. All I had to say was,.. 'You can crash on my couch if you want to'. I went to say it,.. and hesitated. I went to say it,.. and hesitated again,..
I did not know that she had another admirer who lived close by too.
I went to say it again,.. hesitated,..

,.. and was lost.

Oh God. I'm so alone

The Umbrella

Fri, 14 Mar 2003 05:24:41 GMT

It's raining today. The fingers of water snake down my window and I watch people walk by with their umbrellas shielding them from a precipitace onslaught. I see a couple walk by. She's wearing an oversized woolen coat and she hugs up to him to avoid the airborne spray. My umbrella is smaller than his, but it may as well be as large as the sky,..

,.. as no one needs to hug closer to me.

Oh God. I'm so alone

Footsteps home

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 23:39:55 GMT

There are 418 footsteps home from the Baskins and Robbins near my house. That means 836 footsteps if I was walking with someone who loved me.

,.. There are 418 footsteps home from the Baskins and Robbins near my house.

Oh God. I'm so alone

The Perspex

Tue, 11 Mar 2003 12:56:25 GMT

It was her eyes. They were haunting. I glanced away. Did they have no pupils at all? I glanced again. They were the darkest brown eyes I'd ever seen. She stood at the subway counter with a tall strong boy. I stared into the salad and tried to watch her in the reflection of the perspex. Was she touching him. Was he really with her? I saw her reflection turn towards me. 'Excuse me' she said. I turned to her, my eyes wide. 'She's asking you what salads you want'. The girl behind the counter was impatiently waiting,..

,.. and the girl with brown eyes walked out arm in arm with her boyfriend.

Oh God. I'm so alone

The Train

Mon, 10 Mar 2003 12:33:19 GMT

I climbed onto the train and took my seat. I glanced across and saw an angel. She was petite, and dressed in a lemon yellow top. Her neck was thin and smooth. Her jaw was delicate and soft. She looked like a young, blonde 'Max Sharam'. I couldn't stop staring. She was so entrancing just sitting there reading her magazine. She looked up and my eyes went wide. I couldn't look away. Our eyes locked for what seemed like a lifetime. She gathered her magazine then got off the train at the next stop. I guess it was her stop,..

,... but I can't be sure.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Talk

Wed, 05 Mar 2003 23:11:50 GMT

Her long red hair hung delicately across her warm face and her deep sea green eyes. She stared at me and didn't look away. She told me about her desires, she told me about her wants. She told me the secrets of her past and the secrets of her present. I kissed her and asked her if she cared for me. She didn't answer, she only stared at me, so I took a long deep breath,..

,.. and I turned the page.

Oh God, I'm so alone.

A penny

Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:50:25 GMT

Today I found a penny on the street. This country hasn't used pennies since before I was born. It's supposed to be good luck to pick up a penny so I did so. Later I noticed a beautiful asian girl walking towards me. With my new found luck perhaps she would stop and talk if I smiled at her. I felt for the coin in my pocket but all I found was a hole. She walked past me without looking up,..

,.. and there was no change for me.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Waiting for a call

Mon, 03 Mar 2003 16:28:54 GMT

I sat staring at the phone praying that it would ring. Its cold plastic artiface mocking me with it's silence. I pleaded with it. "RING!" I called out in vain, then hung my head in my hands. Silence wrapped itself around me forcing itself in on my laboured breathing. The joyous call of the phone snapped me out of my contemplation.
"Hello?" I whispered.
"Hi" she said "Is Rachel there?".
But there was no-one of that name at this address.
"Oops, sorry." she said, " Wrong number I guess" ,..

,.. (click)

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Red Wine

Sun, 02 Mar 2003 10:28:23 GMT

I was at a party and it was time to sleep. She said "I'll set up a bed for you". I knew that she had a double bed. I was filled with liquid confidence. I'd ask her. I'd ask if she wanted to share her bed. I was calm, I was confident, I was attractive. I went to the bathroom and turned on the light. I stared at myself in the mirror in the harsh flicker of the fluoro tube,..

,.. and I slept on the couch.

Oh God. I'm so alone

The Time

Wed, 26 Feb 2003 09:02:52 GMT

'Do you have the time?' I asked.
Her deep stormy green eyes peering from behind dark red spectacles. Her straight, blood-red bob cut 'cupped' her alabaster cheeks. She wore a dark grey, woolen jacket and pant suit with a red silk scarf tied around her waist. The wind stirred around us playing with her stylish cut and her womanly form.
'I'm sorry, I don't wear a watch' she said dismissively and walked away. I could see that she was watchless,..

,.. and she had no time for me.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Donuts

Tue, 25 Feb 2003 02:02:50 GMT

I craved donuts. I craved being served by the girl with jet black hair who works at the donut stand. I walked through the rain and my pant legs were soaked through. But my hunger drove me onwards and warmed me from the inside out. Finally I trudged, sodden into the food court but the donut stand was closed. She was nowhere to be seen,..

,.. an I hunger still.

Oh God. I'm so alone

The Laugh

Mon, 17 Feb 2003 23:12:04 GMT

I did my grocery shopping yesterday. When I got to the checkout I was in a fairly cheerful mood. I stacked my goods on the conveyor and when the girl at the register went to start price checking them they toppled. I said, with a smile on my face 'Whoops. I guess I got a little too keen'. When she laughed it was forced and stale. She turned away and didn't look at me again,..

,.. and my eggs were broken.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Locksmith

Sat, 15 Feb 2003 13:25:51 GMT

I locked myself out of my home today. When the locksmith turned up she was a curvaceous blonde woman with green eyes. I waited patiently as she elegantly bypassed the intricate locking mechanism on my front door. She opened the door and waved me into my house with a smile. My tongue caught as I tried to ask her out for a drink. She jumped back into her van and drove up the street. I watched as the van pulled out of view,..

,.. then the door slammed shut behind me.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Date

Fri, 14 Feb 2003 10:53:43 GMT

It's February the fourteenth,..

,.. Saint Valentine's Day.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Haircut

Tue, 11 Feb 2003 06:54:29 GMT

I went to get my hair cut today. I asked especially for Cara. She's got short styled brown hair and wears mid-riffs. She cut my hair and offered to wash my hair. I lay back in the sink and let her run her strong fingers through my scalp. I lay there and looked up at her all the while thinking about how pretty she was. I said I like the way she did my hair and she said 'My boyfriend does too'. I paid my money and left,..

,.. and I lied when I said 'it looked fine'.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Cinema

Mon, 10 Feb 2003 06:09:07 GMT

I saw a girl with long, long mousey brown hair today in town. I followed her, I couldn't help it. She was so pretty. She went to see a film all by herself. I lined up behind her. I could smell her perfume. She bought her ticket and I bought mine. I followed her to the theatre door, but her ticket was her cinema 4, and mine was for cinema 3. So she saw one hour photo,..

,.. and I watched Spy Kids 2, all by myself.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Information

Sun, 09 Feb 2003 13:04:24 GMT

There's a girl who works at the information kiosk near my bus stop. She has dark skin and dark hair and her eyes are the deepest purest brown. I asked her for my bus time table, I asked her for pricing information. I even asked her for information about the ferry,..

,.. but I did not ask her out.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

Running for the Phone

Sat, 08 Feb 2003 21:33:56 GMT

I slept terribly last night. I had dreams of running for the phone but not being able to get to it. It rang and rang and I knew that I needed to get there before it rang out. After what seemed like a hundred years I woke up and jumped out of bed, stumbling for the phone. In the darkness I managed to key in star - ten - hash,..

,.. and there were no missed calls.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The News

Fri, 07 Feb 2003 13:51:19 GMT

Last night, I watched the late night news. I turned the volume down and stared at the girl who reads the stories. It was like she was whispering sweet nothings to me. I didn't care what she was saying, only that she was saying them to me. I knew she wanted me. I knew that she wanted to be with me forever,..

,.. and then she threw to the weather.

Oh God. I'm so alone.

The Ice Cream Truck

Fri, 07 Feb 2003 06:24:57 GMT

I heard the tune of the Ice Cream truck today. It meandered through the hills around my home. I waited for hours for it to come down my street. Eventually it drove by and I lined up to get a Soft Serve. I got to the window and the man said 'Sorry Buddy. I'm all out'. He closed the window and drove silently up the street,..

,.. leaving 'GreenSleeves' to play in my head.

Oh God. I'm so alone.